One of the weird things we pray for as Christians is to know God better. I say “weird” because often we don’t think about what this actually means. Usually we are thinking about reading our Bible and asking for God to reveal more of Himself to us through His written word. Sometimes we want to “feel” Him in worship and know Him better through that. Not many Christians praying that type of prayer are thinking about knowing Him better through suffering. That is a hard prayer to pray unless you really mean it. I know some awesome Christians who I’m pretty sure pray that way (not just ‘cause I see them suffering so much either). There have been times in my life when I have tentatively prayed that way, not sure I really meant it but wanting to mean it.
I have been praying this “I want to know you better God” prayer lately but have been pointing it in another direction. I can’t help but see pretty much every aspect of our adoption process as a way to know God in a deeper and more personal way.
Lately our process has meant a lot of waiting broken up with flurries of activity. We have had places we need to be and people we need to see. We have loops to jump through and then lots of time to wait. We had a moment this summer when we thought we might actually have children to pursue. That fell through. We have heard of other kids who might be available soon. We have to decide if we will pursue them. When this whole thing is over it will have taken years and cost much. Last night, God moved in my heart to understand this in a new light.
As I said the word “pursue” in my mind it came to me that God had done the same thing for me. He pursued me, and continues to do that still. He waited for me. He waited to adopt me into his family. There were times He had “appointments” to keep that helped bring me to Him. I did not know He was pursuing me back then, but He did. And what of the cost? The cost to bring me into His “forever family” was greater than I will even know on this side of life. He gave the one Son He already had to bring me home. That is a price too steep for me to understand.
Many Christians immediately see the line connecting earthly adoption in this life with our “adoption as sons” that the Bible speaks of. However, the longer I walk through this process on earth, the more I see of the subtleties of that obvious parallel. Being overwhelmed with thankfulness for His pursuit of me is just one example.
As I continue to pray that prayer, the prayer to know God better, I pray that soon that “knowing” will come as we celebrate the actual bringing home of new family members. The Bible tells us that the angels rejoice when a person is brought into the family of God. I pray that we will know that rejoicing soon as we welcome people into our family here on earth. There are times to pray for suffering but right now, I’m praying for rejoicing!